


Melted Wax

by MutantKittens (orphan_account)



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-20 02:11:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5988547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/MutantKittens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College AU where Ryan and Brendon meet at college. First person, Ryan's POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bedhead Blues

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually the first bandom fic I've ever written so I'm sorry in advance if this sucks because I'm used to writing characters with more ambiguous personalities. This isn't very long, but I do wanna add more to it so let me know if you like it! 
> 
> also, I'd like to note I'm well aware that the people I'm writing about are real. This is no way something I believe to be true or have hopes of actually playing out, this is just something to do for fun.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan's just an ordinary kid who snoozes his alarm too many times and forgets to study for his tests.

A familiar loud, obnoxious sound awakens my from my sleep. I open my eyes and realize that my alarm clock is screaming at me. One would think that I would get used to that by now, but it always seems to surprise me. I didn't get enough sleep last night. But I never really do, so I've kind of gotten over it. 

I rub the back of my head, assessing the pillows damage to my short hair from the wild night I just had. "Man, today's probably gonna be a hat day," I say to myself, before I go to the mirror to check out how bad it is. Okay, it doesn't look too bad. It's manageable. I'll just spray some water on my head and smooth it down and it'll look almost like I actually put some effort into it this morning."

I look at the clock and curse myself because I realize I must have hit snooze 3 times and never noticed. I quickly pull on some jeans off the floor and grab a random shirt from my closet before pulling on the hoodie thats draped over my chair. "I guess that's another morning without breakfast," I complain to the ghost who occupies my dorm room. I don't know why I always complain to him, it's not like he cares at all but somebody's gotta listen. 

It's fucking cold outside. Yesterday was probably just as cold, but today it almost bites you. I now realize that I never smoothed my hair out. I probably look like a hobo at this point. I'm sure nothing else could go wrong today. 

I walk into class to see most of the class already there. Surprisingly I'm not late, I'm actually a couple minutes early for once. I sit down, and looking over I realize they all have their noses stuck into our textbook. Are they all trying to be overachievers today? What's up with that. 

"Okay guys, it's about that time, so go ahead and put away your books and clear off your desks," Dr. Garris says. 

Oh fuck. You've got to be kidding me right now. 

A stapled packet lands it's way onto the desk in front of me. I scribble "Ryan Ross" on the top of the first page and then read the first question. Every letter on this page could be Chinese to me and I would probably understand it more than I do right now because I did not study one word for this test. I'm screwed. 

I quickly think of a way out of this. I could jump out the window. Worst case scenario, it kills me, and I get out of the test. Best case scenario, I get a broken arm and the test gets postponed because all of my peers just suffered an emotional trauma from the suicide attempt of a classmate. Or maybe that should be the other way around. 

Apparently I was staring at this guy in the hallway because I come back from my daydream and notice this dude with black hair and a stereotypical indie haircut giving me a weird look. But he doesn't even look away from me. I look back down at my test and then back at him again to see if he looks away, but he just keeps staring. And he's giving ME the weird look. Whatever. There's not way I'm getting out of this but surely I can bullshit my way through it. 

I get through 4 of the 10 questions and glance up again, and he's still sitting there. He's no longer giving me that weird look, but he almost looks like he's studying me? When he realizes I'm looking up again he turns his gaze and I can see the sides of his face get hot. Alright my dude. I've got better things to focus on. 

Finally I get to the last question and look up. He left. What a shame. I was almost getting used to his presence. 

I finish up the garbage that I'm spewing onto the page and flip it over to make sure there's not extra bonus questions that Garris tried to sneak onto it. You never know with these writing professors. They're always trying to pull one over on us. I pick up my bag and walk over to give him the test that I just managed to get through without dying in the middle of it. 

I walk out of the room and I run into the guy from earlier. He's standing right outside the doorway. "Oh, excuse m-" 

"Do I know you from somewhere?" He asks, cutting me off. 

I look him up and down before answering, "uh, I don't. Think so?" 

He gives me this sly smirk and says, "Well you do now. I'm Brendon. I hope I get to see you again."

He turns and walks toward the door to the stairwell and I'm left breathing in the cologne he put on this morning.


	2. Off My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan thinks too much. But it works out.

It had been a couple days since I saw Brendon that first time in the hallway. It was a Thursday after all, so I didn't expect to see him until Tuesday when I had my creative writing class again, but I can't deny that there was the tiniest bit of hope I would see him before that. I don't think anybody has ever had this kind of effect on me. The girls I've dated in the past were usually the type to wear their hearts on their sleeve, but I can't really get a read on what he wants from me so I'm intrigued. 

I've also never been this invested in a boy before either. I've made out with boys before when I was drunk but who hasn't? I never saw myself dating a boy-- jesus christ, I'm getting way too ahead of myself, this guy who's said like 20 words to me is all I've thought about in the past 5 days and I haven't even seen him again. Who's to say he was just fucking with me and I won't even see him again anyway? Why would he care enough to sit outside my class again? You know what, Ryan, you're not that god damn special so I have no idea why you think he actually wants to see you. 

Fuck it. Let's just get going. Today's Tuesday. If he comes, he comes, but if he doesn't, oh well. I'll live. I'm sure I can find a cute indie boy on this campus elsewhere, so he's not that special himself either. 

It's cold out again. This time I remembered to wear a hat, so not only am I toasty, I also look way cuter than I would without one. Maybe he'll really stick around this time. Not that it really matters to me, but I would rather be known as cute than that dorky guy who looked like he rolled out of bed and just went to class without looking at a mirror. 

By the time I get there, the attendance sheet is just reaching the row I sit in. Perfect timing. I sit down and pull out my notebook and a pen. Garris is already lecturing so he just kind of rolls his eyes at me when he notices I'm late again. Not sure why he's that surprised. 

Class is boring, like it usually is. Dr. Garris hates when people have phones out so I just bring my laptop to class instead. This way it looks like I'm taking notes all fancily or looking at the powerpoint up close, but really I'm just watching youtube with the subtitles on and talking to some buds. I asked Spencer if he had ever seen that guy Brendon. I know I said I didn't care but I'm a terrible liar. 

"Uhh, I think I may have seen someone matching that description, but if we're being totally real here I can't say that I know a lot of guys who DON'T fit that description." 

I guess he was right. That style is pretty "in" right now, even for people who don't like a lot of alternative music. I guess he can't really help me with that. 

I glance up at the projected powerpoint at the front of the room. He's still talking away. Out of the corner of my eye I see a hand move in the hallway. My heart skips a beat, and I turn my head to look but it's not Brendon. I release the breath I'd been subconsciously holding. I look down at my hands and notice they're kind of shaking. I need to stop this, this is the stupidest thing I've ever felt in my life. 

I go back to talking to Spencer. I don't want to talk about Brendon anymore so I ask about his schoolwork. He goes to the same college I do, but we never get to see each other because he works a lot off campus. I can't say that I'm all that jealous. 

"Alright everybody, next class come in prepared for group work. See you all Thursday," Dr. Garris dismisses us. 

I close my laptop and put it away along with the notebook that remained unopened the entire class time. I don't even know why I got it out. I stand up and pick up my heavy backpack off the ground and then I see him. He's standing right where he was on Thursday, looking straight at me. 

Oh god. 

My heart speeds up and my hands get shakey again. "Breathe," I repeat over and over in my head, making sure to keep my breathing steady. I can do this. 

I start walking toward the door and step out into the hall. I stop when I get to his side. 

"Hey," I say casually. "What's up?"

My mind is running a hundred miles an hour. What if he wasn't actually looking at me? What if he was just waiting for the class to get out? But he didn't go into that classroom last Thursday, he just left. Okay so he's probably not here for class. But what if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he was just waiting for someone else, someone that sat behind m--

"I realized that I never got your name last week." He says smiling. 

He was here for me. 

"Oh, uhm. My name is Ryan," I answer. 

He looks kind of confused. Oh fuck. I can already tell where this is going.

"Ryan? I've never met a girl with that name but it suits you." He says with a flirty smirk.

My heart drops. He thinks I'm a girl. I can't blame him. Fuck. I'm not a girl. What if that's the only reason he seemed interested in me.

I look down at the ground and kind of pull my shirt away from my chest trying to make it look flatter. "I'm actually a boy." He probably won't believe me. My high pitched voice is usually the thing that gives people away. I hate this. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. 

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't upset you. Can I take you out sometime to make it up to you?" He says urgently. 

My heart starts to speed up again, but in a good way this time. I try to hold back a smile, but it's no good.

"Yeah, sure. When are you free?" I ask. 

He smiles back at me and replies, "I'm free any time you are." 

I have to look away before he notices my cheeks get pink. I'm in way too deep and we've only talked twice. 

"We could get dinner tonight around 7?" I suggest. 

"That works for me," he answers. "Where do you live? Can I get your number so I can let you when I get there to pick you up?" He gives me a cute half smile. 

The butterflies in my stomach are going crazy at this point. I nod my head and he hands me his phone so I can plug the numbers into a contact. The name I save it under is "Ryan <3" but I go ahead and close it so he won't notice it until later. He puts his phone back into his pocket and smiles at me.

"I guess I'll see you then," I tell him. 

He nods and says, "I'll text you later to get details." 

I give a little wave and turn to walk out of the hallway. This time, he's the one left breathing in the cologne I put on this morning.


	3. It's Personal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan and Brendon go out for an intimate dinner and Brendon gets his questions answered.

Finally, I'm done with classes for the day. Now I can go get ready for my thing with Brendon. He hasn't texted me at all but it's only been 2 hours since I saw him, so it's not like he would have a reason to. I'm so nervous. I feel like my heart is going to burst through my chest, killing me in the process. I'd personally be okay with that. Maybe Brendon will come to my funeral and write a cute speech about how he didn't know me long but that I was a great person. Yeah, right. 

Walking back, it's seemed to have gotten colder. Maybe I should have checked the weather this morning before just settling for a paper thin jacket to put over my skeleton-like body. The cold is practically passing through my bones now. 

Luckily I don't have to walk for long until I'm back in my dorm. My roommate Brent is surprisingly sitting on his bed. I never see him. He's usually at his girlfriend's apartment when he's not in class, so this is probably the first time I've seen him in a week. 

"Hey, man," I greet him. 

He gives me an upward nod and a hand wave. 

I lay on the bed across the room with the black sheets and red comforter tossed towards the end of it. I have kind of a headache. It's probably from worrying so much. But luckily, modern medicine has given us the technology to solve our own problems. I down two aspirin and lay my head down and my eyes close. 

Next thing I know I'm woken up from a vibrating sensation on my stomach. It's my phone. I look over the bed on the other side of the room and Brent has disappeared. Is he magic? Where the fuck did he go? I look down to check what the buzzing that has now ceased was, and I find that two hours has passed. Its about 6:00 now. Huh. No wonder he's not here anymore. I guess my snoring scared him off. 

I have two unread texts. Both of them are from a number I don't recognize at first. I open them up and realize it's Brendon. 

"Hey, it's Brendon. Figured I'd text you my number just in case you needed to contact me for some reason. So... here it is. Lol." 

Such a conversationalist. 

I look past it and read the next text. I'm surprised I didn't wake up from the first one. 

"This is Ryan right? I really hope this is the right number." 

My heart speeds up a bit. He double texted. He cared about contacting me. 

Okay, I need to chill. 

"Hey, sorry. I fell asleep... Yeah, this is Ryan. What's up?" I reply. I can already feel the sides of my face warm up. 

I lock my phone and sit up against the bed post. I smooth my hair down. I get up and splash some cold water on my face to wake up a little bit. I feel a buzz in my pocket. It's Brendon again. A smile creeps across my face without me even realizing it. 

"Alright good. I was worried you tricked me and gave me a fake number when you didn't reply. Any place in particular sound good for dinner tonight? I'm buying so don't worry about the cost." He tells me. 

"Oh, Brendon, this is all moving so fast," I say in a girly movie actress voice in my head. 

I can't really say I have a deep craving for anything specific though. Where was he last week when I wanted pizza so bad I actually considered selling one of my kidneys just to pay for it? He's a little late. 

"Nope, I got nothin. I'm up for anything. Your pick. Especially since you're buying," I answer. A rush of adrenaline comes through my veins thinking about it. I can't believe I'm going out to dinner with this guy I met in a hallway.

I look in the mirror, giving myself a good once over to assess how well I look. Oh, this just will not do, Ross. I look at my closet to see if I have anything moderately nice looking. I don't want to look like business-y but I also don't want to be in something gross either. I have to find a good middle ground. I peruse my button down shirts, looking for something that's not too classy. I can never go wrong with button downs. I'll just pair it with some nice looking jeans and my black vans. I feel like a teenage girl getting ready for the prom. But this is actually the least formal occasion ever, I'm just being overdramatic. 

I hear a buzz come from the bed that I threw my phone onto. I smile again. I go over to check it and it's another text from Brendon. 

"oh, okay, so you'd be cool if I just took you over to the dining hall? I wouldn't have to pay anything if we went there."

Suddenly the mood went sour. I mean, I can't really be mad because I did said I was up for anything. I guess it's my own fault for thinking that he was going to be a bit fancier than the food that I'm pretty sure is the same that I ate in high school. My phone buzzes again before I even respond. 

"Psych! I'm just kidding dude, I would never. Is pizza okay? I know this local place that's practically heaven on baked bread." 

Okay, now he's definitely a week too late. But I laugh at his joke anyway. 

"That sounds good haha. Still 7?" I ask. 

He responds before I put my phone down. 

"Yep!" it says with a thumbs up emoji. That's cute. 

I tell him which building I live in and then put my phone back down.

After finally picking which shirt to wear I stand in the mirror once more. I wink at myself and say, "looking good, Ryan," out loud without realizing it. I really hope that nobody heard that. This makes me glad that Brent left while I was sleeping. 

I go and check my phone. It's about 6:50 right now. I have ten minutes to kill but I'm already done up. This must have been how all of my exes felt. I was never on time for our dates. Maybe this is a sign that I need to practice time management a little better. I get a text. 

"I'm on my way if you're ready to go :)" he says. 

Oh, I'm definitely ready for you. 

I decide against sending that and settling into a nice casual "yep, ready to go!" before I head downstairs and sit on the bench out front to wait. Before I know it a sleek black car pulls up right in front of me and I see Brendon in the front seat, waving and smiling at me. I get in the passenger seat and he has the top 40s playing on the radio but he turns it down a little when I sit down. 

"What's up? How are you?" He asks me. 

"I'm doing pretty great, how are you?" I say in response. 

"Just fine. Ready to eat? You're gonna love this place." He says. 

I shake my head and reply, "I'll take your word for it," before he drives off. 

The car ride over is a little quiet aside from the pop music playing through the speaker. But luckily the place isn't too far away from campus so we get there in less than ten minutes. It looks kinda tiny and cheap, but that's not really a great judge of the food because most places in a small town look like that. 

We walk in and are immediately greeted by a really pretty girl with brown hair tied back into a long straight pony tail. I look at Brendon and see him look her up and down. Maybe she's his type. I wonder if I am too.   
She seats us at a cozy booth with a dim lamp hanging overhead. This is surprisingly more intimate than I expected when he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner. 

"Do you all know what you'd like to drink?" She asks us in a chipper voice. I look down at the menu to see what kind they have but Brendon, having already been here many times, knows what he wants already. 

"Can I have a peach tea please?" He asks in a buttery voice. I wonder if he's flirting or if he's just always like this. She nods and writes down in her little notebook before looking back up at me. 

"Can I just have a water, uhm, with lemon please." I say. 

She nods and tells us she'll have it right out and walks toward another table. Finally.

"So, I realize now that I know absolutely nothing about you," Brendon says. He's correct. I also know nothing about him so we're even. "Let's start with the basics. What's your major? Oh-no no, what's your last name? I don't even know that yet. Let's start with that." 

"Well, my last name is Ross. Ryan Ross. And to answer your other question, I'm an English major. What about you? I don't know your last name or your major either." I respond. 

"My last name is Urie. And my major is music. I play the guitar mostly, but piano is a close second." He answers. 

We're interrupted by our waitress coming back with two glasses. She pulls two straws out of her pocket and tosses them on the table. 

"Do you all know what you want or do you want a few more minutes to look over the menu?" she asks politely. At this point I realize I have no idea what I want or what I'm even in the mood for. 

"Do you wanna just play it safe and get a cheese?" Brendon asks me. 

"Oh, yeah that's fine with me," I answer back and close the menu. 

She writes it down and takes both of our menus. Now it'll probably be like 10 minutes or so of hopefully uninterrupted chatter. I catch a glimpse out the window when she walks away. You can see the sun set perfectly from here. 

"Hey, pretty nice sunset today, huh?" I say. He looks over almost automatically. 

"I guess you're right. Haven't seen a nice sunset like that in a while. I love when the sky gets pink with just a little bit of purple mixed in." He says. "But that's not getting you out of this conversation, Ross." 

Oh god. I can only imagine what that's supposed to mean. 

"What do you mean?" I question. I really have no idea what kinds of things he's gonna bombard me with. 

"Okay, well, I know we've said probably less than 200 words combined to each other but you intrigue me and I want to know more about you. I also don't want to offend you since we don't know each other that well, so I'm a little scared to say what I really want to know." He tells me. 

I already know immediately what he's referring to. The fact that I'm a "dude in a chick's body" or whatever people are saying about transgender people nowadays. I take a big sip of water, preparing my throat for the Gender 101 lecture I'm going to have to give. I can't say that I'm surprised at all that this is happening, but I'd rather not have this topic of conversation the first time I really sit down and talk with someone. But he doesn't seem ignorant about it, he probably just doesn't know many trans people, if any. Especially one that is pre-everything, transition-wise. 

"You're gonna ask me about my gender, I'm sure." I say bluntly. 

He looks down at the table, and a slight flush of red covers his cheeks before he begins fumbling over his words. 

"Well, I mean, if it's not. I don't want to make you uncomfortable by asking. So, if you don't want to talk about it we don't have to. I was just curious because I've never actually met a transgender in person before." I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I'm screaming internally at this point. 

"Okay, first of all, transgender is an adjective not a noun, so if you're using it in a sentence like that you need to put 'person' or 'people' after it to make it grammatically correct. Second of all, I don't mind talking about it, but I'd like to know you have an open mind about this kind of thing before actually getting into it." I say.   
 He nods but doesn't say anything. 

"I guess I'll start at the basics. I was assigned female at birth, so when I was born the doctors looked at me and wrote 'female' on my birth certificate. But being referred to as female, girl, woman, ma'am, anything relating to being a girl makes me extremely uncomfortable. So I changed my name to Ryan and cut my hair and did anything I could to make myself appear more masculine. Does that make sense?" I ask him. 

"Yeah," he says nodding. "I have a question though... Do you like, live in a girl floor or? How does school work and stuff?"

"Well, for me, I am out to my family and friends, so I have the ability to tell the school that I'm trans. I told them I'd prefer rooming with a guy, and they, luckily, allowed that. So I'm actually living on a guy floor with my friend from high school. I can't change my sex on my record or anything. I also can't change my official name on class rosters since I haven't legally changed my name, so I have to email my professors ahead of time and let them know. Most of them are usually pretty chill about it. I've only had one who was a dick so far." 

Brendon nods, looking enlightened. "I'm glad that you have it so easy then. I'm sure that's gotta be rough. Uhm. How did you... figure out you were trans?" He asks. He almost looks worried. 

"Well, I've kind of always knew, if that makes sense? As a kid I actually thought I was a boy, and I always told my parents that they were calling me the wrong things. I always went into the boys lines when we separated off for things in school. My teachers always got on me about it, and I never understood why. But then I started getting older, my chest got bigger and I realized that something wasn't right. My parents before that had never really taken it seriously, playing it off as me being a kid, but when I was around 13 I found out what transgender meant and I told my parents flat out what was up. I couldn't handle it anymore." I look down at the table. I've never talked to anyone this in depth about it. But Brendon seems interested and like he's listening. I feel oddly comfortable with him. 

"They definitely warmed up to it with time." I continue. "At first they thought I was crazy. Made me go to a doctor and everything. But the doctor just told them that it was a thing that happened and that it didn't mean anything abnormal. There wasn't anything wrong with me at all, I was just transgender. My family couldn't really afford doing things like hormones or whatever, still can't, so I have to wait for that. But luckily everyone I've met has really been cool with it and tries to call me the right things." 

Brendon just nods, as if he's still taking it all in. I mean I did just drop a bomb on him so I kinda understand. 

Before either of us has anything else to add, our server comes back with a big platter with a delicious looking pizza. She sits it down along with napkins. 

"More peach tea?" She asks, looking toward Brendon.

He nods at her before giving a soft, "thanks." 

She turns to me and asks, "and more water for you, ma'am?" My mouth goes dry. Ironic that I get misgendered ten seconds after explaining all of that to Brendon. I haven't really been misgendered in a while though so it takes me by surprise. That almost makes it hurt worse. 

"Sir," I hear Brendon state. I look at him, confused. So does the waitress. 

"Excuse me?" she asks. Her face gets a bit red, like she's embarrassed. 

"My friend here, he's a sir, not a ma'am." He says bluntly. I can feel the butterflies return, and my face feels hot. Nobody has ever stood up for me so boldly. Most of them just give me looks of sympathy and apologize later for not saying anything. I can never blame them because it's not like it's their problem. But god. This, this is so. I don't even know what to say. My heart is doing cartwheels in my chest. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. Would you like more water?" she asks. 

"It's alright, and yes, that would be great," I answer quietly, before she walks away. 

I look down at the table, trying to calm down because I already know my face is as red as the sauce on this pizza. 

"Thanks for that. That means a lot," I choke out. I'm surprised the words even rolled off my tongue, because my mouth is still dry. I try to sip on the remaining water in the glass on the table and steady my heart rate. 

"It's not a problem at all. I want my friends to feel comfortable, and I would hate to be called something I'm not. Anytime, man," he says right before grabbing a slice of pizza and biting into it. 

Oh yeah. I forgot that there was food in front of us. It looks absolutely wonderful. I choose the closest piece to me and dig in. It's actually pretty great.   
 "You weren't lying when you said this place tasted like heaven. Thanks for bringing me out here tonight," I say. 

He's still chewing so he just shakes his head and gives a wave, as if to say "don't worry about it."

The waitress comes back with two more glasses and takes the empty ones from our table. She doesn't say anything surprisingly, probably still embarrassed from what just happened. It's cool though because it's not like we needed anything anyway.   
 There's not much conversation going while we eat. Occasionally a '00s pop song will play over the intercom in the restaurant and Brendon will lip sync along to it before getting back to his dinner. He's actually really cute. I wonder if he sings or not. Maybe one day I'll get the chance to hear him. Maybe I can sing for him too. 

Our waitress finally comes back with our check. There's a couple pieces of pizza left so he asks for a box. It's about $13 but Brendon just lays down a $20 because he feels bad about embarrassing her. 

When she comes back, she hands Brendon the box and he gives her the check back with the money. 

"I don't need change," he says. She looks surprised. 

"Oh, thank you so much!" She exclaims. "You all have a good night now!" she says smiling.

He smiles back at her and then packs up the rest of the pizza. He pushes the closed box over the table to me. 

"You can have these. I come here all the time, but this your first so I really want you to savor it," he says in between laughs. 

I smile at him and take the box. You're alright, Urie. 

We get back in his car and head back to campus. The same station is playing and unsurprisingly, the same songs as earlier are too. 

It's not long before we get back to the place where our evening began. He stops the car and I unbuckle my seatbelt. 

"It's been good," I say as I turn to open up the door but I'm stopped by a hand grabbing my arm. I turn back to look at him. 

"Let me know whenever you're free. I'd love to do this again some time," he says smiling. "And hey. I think we met our 200 word quota, so next time we can get into the really personal stuff." He raises his eyebrows at me and gives me this sly half-smile. 

"Alright, Brendon," I say laughing. I get out of the car and shut the door, making sure to turn around and wave. He waves back before driving off, and I'm left in his wake, yet again. 

But this time, I know he's thinking about me as he leaves.


	4. Boys Just Wanna Have Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon invites Ryan over for a fun-filled Friday night of booze and video games. (No smut)

You know, Fridays are way overhyped. You still have classes during the day, so even if you do go out, you're probably gonna be way tired? Which is exactly why I usually spend my Friday evenings alone in my bed, watching netflix, and eating my weight in junk food. I feel like that's a decent way to spend the end of your week, especially when you have 50 assignments piling up that are all due on Monday. Why do them now? Why not wait until Sunday to start on them? That is definitely the greatest plan anyone could have ever come up with. 

But today is actually different. Brendon invited me to hang out. He made promises of booze and video games, so it would be idiotic of me to decline such an offer. Especially since it will be in his apartment. The one he lives in, and sleeps in, and bathes in, and-- Ryan, jesus christ. This is so unnecessary. 

Anyway. Ever since Tuesday, we have practically talked non-stop via text. Every time my phone vibrates, I expect it to be him. This unfortunately has proven to me how little I actually talk to anyone, and how alone I really am in the world. Except now I have someone to talk to. 

He's also gonna let me hear some songs he's written. I'm really excited. He says he's not a singer, but I doubt that notion. His voice is velvety and smooth, and that's when he's not singing, so I can't even imagine what it's like when he's actually trying. 

I only have 2 classes today, and I'm done within 2 hours because they're back-to-back. I'm so glad I get done early, because as soon as Brendon gets done we're heading to his place. I can't wait to see what it's like. He said his roommate is going home for the weekend so it's just going to be us. I'm kind of nervous. This is gonna be the first time we'll be completely alone, and not in a car. Which could be either the greatest thing ever, or the worst. There's no way of knowing what's gonna happen. 

He already told me where his class was earlier this morning, so I go and sit outside of it. He gets out in about half an hour, so it's not a terrible wait. I just scroll through my phone like the stereotypical technology-obsessed college student that I am. I look over and notice 6 other people sitting on the ground looking at their phones. If a baby boomer walked down this hall and saw this they would probably have a heart attack. 

Before I know it, there's a pair of legs standing right in front of me covered with dark blue denim. I look up and unsurprisingly see my dear old pal Brendon. 

"Hey dude," I greet him before holding a hand up towards him so he can help me up. 

"Did you have fun out here?" he asked, pulling me up from the ground. 

"Oh yeah, definitely. Just catching up on the Friday gossip." I answer.   
He laughs at me and pulls his phone out. He puts it right back into his pocket.   
 "Wow, we actually got out a little early for once. Ready to head? Do you need to stop by your dorm for anything?" He asks me. I got lucky. Maybe the universe was giving me good karma because she knows I have the hots for ole b-den over here. 

"Nah, I brought the necessities so I'm good to go," I reply. He nods at me, and then starts walking toward the door to the staircase. 

He's not parked far from the building. He gets to campus pretty early usually, so he always gets the good parking spots. Or so he tells me. He could just be lying. But I don't know who would lie about parking spaces. Either way, he has a good one today, which is all that matters. 

He clicks the button on his keys and his car beeps. He gets into the driver's side and I hop into the passenger. I throw my backpack into his backseat and he does the same. When he starts the car, the radio comes on. We catch the last few seconds of a love song. Then a song about sex comes on. I look over and catch Brendon with a smirk on his face trying to look away from anywhere in my direction. 

He finally drives off. Can't wait to get out of this place for once. I usually don't go anywhere because I don't have a reason to. I'm glad that I get to ride with Brendon though, cause I don't know how to get to his place, and this also just gives me more time with him. 

We turn down a couple of streets and it only takes us about 10 minutes total to get there. It probably would have taken less had we not caught every red light in the entire town, but oh well. 

His apartment is actually pretty big. It doesn't look like much from the outside, but the way Brendon and his roommate have it set up, there's so much room and it looks so lively and wonderful. I wish I could do this to my dorm, but I don't even care enough to do it since I have to move out every year. The living room is decorated with movie posters, mostly classics, and he has a huge entertainment system setup in front of a long couch. There's even a little bar in his kitchen area, and he has a dining table. I can't wait to live on my own like this. This is like heaven to me. 

"Want a tour of the rest of the place?" he asks with a laugh after he catches me admiring all of his things. 

"Absolutely," I answer. 

He leads me down a small hallway with a couple different doors. The first on the right is the bathroom. Nothing too special about it. It has a toilet, a sink, and even a shower/tub hybrid. Bitchin'. 

The room right next to that is his bedroom. He has a blue sign on the door that says "Brendon" in white letters and it has stars and a moon around it. He opens the door, and it's even better than the living room. His walls are covered in posters from musical artists. Weezer, Billy Joel, The Beatles, Nirvana. That's not even the tip of the iceberg. I majorly underestimated how into music he was. His bed is made up with a plain black comforter and gray sheets. He has a record player on top of his dresser and a cardboard box next to it filled with vinyl. 

"Ya like?" He asks. 

"Nothing too special," I say sarcastically. 

He laughs and heads toward the door. He moves across the hall now to the door right in front of his. He knocks on it. 

"Housekeeping?" he says in a high pitched voice. 

The door jiggles a little before opening. A man I've never seen before is suddenly in front of us. 

"What do you want?" he asks in a joking tone. 

"I just wanted to introduce you to my guest, SIR," Brendon retorts. "This is Ryan Ross. He's going to be staying over, but you won't be here anyway so it doesn't matter." He sticks a tongue out at his roommate. 

The man gives me an upward head nod in my direction. 

"Sup, I'm Jon," he says. I wave back at him. He closes the door in Brendon's face. 

"How rude," Brendon exclaims. 

We walk back toward the open area and he makes his way toward the fridge. He grabs a beer before turning to look in my direction.

"Want anything? We've got water, OJ, soda, beer--" he pauses. "Are you even old enough to drink? Holy shit I guess I really don't know much about you" 

"I'm pretty sure I'm older than you are," I retort. "I have a baby face but that doesn't mean I'm a child." 

"Whatever you say kiddo, what do you want then?" He asks again. 

"I'll take a beer," I answer. 

He grabs another one and shuts the fridge before walking over to me. He hands one to me then goes and sits on the couch. I follow behind him and sit a couple inches away from where he sat. He turns on the tv and his roommate finally comes out of his cave. I was starting to wonder if he was ever going to leave. 

He comes into the living room with a backpack on his shoulders. 

"I'm heading out," he tells Brendon. 

Brendon nods in his direction. 

I don't turn to see him leave, but I hear the door to their apartment open and close and he is finally gone. 

"So finally since he's gone we can be as loud as we want," Brendon says with a sly smile. That smile is gonna be the death of me. "Now we can play video games with the volume up high!" He continues. Oh. Of course that's what he meant. 

He gets up and goes to the tv. He puts in Fallout 4 and the title screen comes up. I've never played this before but I've played previous ones so I can get behind it. Maybe it's a good thing he doesn't offer me the controller instead because I know I would die immediately. 

"Is it cool if I play this for a bit or do you wanna jump into some multiplayer stuff?" He asks. 

"Oh no it's cool, dude, I haven't seen anyone play this yet so this would be as perfect a time as ever to start," I answer. 

He does a few missions in no time. He's pretty decent at the game, surprisingly. At this point I kind of start day dreaming, but I'm still looking at the tv. Unfortunately for me, I'm a huge wimp, so the second a deathclaw comes out from around a corner, I scream and cover my eyes and instinctively bury my head into Brendon's shoulder.

I realize where my head is and I immediately jump back. 

"I'm so sorry, oh my go--" I'm cut off by Brendon's lips pressing against mine and his hands grasping the sides of my face. Is this even happening? Am I still day dreaming? My eyes are still open, I see him, but I can't even believe it. He's kissing me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will most likely be smut, but I'll make sure that any plot-heavy events will be mentioned in the next chapter, just in case someone doesn't like smut and wants to skip the next chapter (which is exactly why I stopped here and didn't continue on).


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon and Ryan have some unexpected fun when Brendon's roommate is gone for the weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is smut. Just incase people don't want to read smut, I didn't add anything plot-worthy in this aside from the sex. This is also my first time writing legitimate smut like this so my bad if this sucks. Don't hate me.

His lips are soft, almost like flower petals. My eyes are still open before I realize that he's kissing me, but his are closed. I close mine too. I kiss him back. Not too roughly, so I don't seem too eager, but enough to make it obvious that I am definitely interested in doing this. My shoulders slump down and he gets closer to me, surprisingly, closer than he already was. 

He moves his arm and his hand is now beside my leg, and he starts moving upward, so that he can hover over me. I get the queue and lie further down on the couch than before. Now both of his hands are on either side of me and we're still kissing, but now he's on top of me. I can't believe this happening. 

His lips feel warm and inviting, as if this is what he's wanted the entire time. Maybe this is the reason he invited me over tonight. I kind of hope it is. 

He goes to readjust his hand and ends up losing his support and falling off the couch. I laugh, without even realizing it. 

"You okay there buddy?" I ask. He gives a little chuckle. 

"Yeah yeah. Maybe this is just a sign that we should move to my bed, instead," he answers with a smirk and the raise of his right eyebrow. 

I can really feel the endorphins rushing now. I scratch my head and try to act casual. 

"I-I mean, that'd be okay," I manage to spit out. 

He gets up and holds out a hand toward me to help me off the couch. I grab it, and he pulls me up. He gives a half smile and guides me toward his room. I'm so nervous. I don't know what he wants to do but I'm not sure what I want either. I just know I want to taste him on my lips again. 

We reach his bed and he turns around to look at me. He sits down on the edge of the bed, and before he can say anything, I push my lips against his again, harder this time. I want this. 

He pulls me toward him and I climb up on the bed so I'm straddling him. He lays back and I'm hovering over him now. I'm holding myself up with my hands placed above his shoulders and I'm kissing him. He pulls away for a second, and I'm confused, but then he comes back and he bites my bottom lip. I feel hot. 

I sit up so I can take off the hoodie I have on. I throw it towards the chair at his desk.   
 "Getting hot there, Ross?" he teased. 

I pin his hands down over head, and I can tell he wasn't expecting it. 

"I'm just getting started." 

With one hand still holding his wrists, I bend down and kiss his neck. I realize I don't know how he feels about leaving marks. 

"Do you like love bites?" I breathe into his ear. He shivers, and just gives me a nod. 

I start out nibbling his ear. I can hear his breathing hitch and I feel his chest expand under me. I move down to his neck and suck gently on the soft skin. Not enough to leave a huge bruise, but enough that you can see faint redness where my mouth was. I sit up, and pull his arms so that he sits up too. 

"I got rid of a piece of clothing, now you do too," I tell him. He smirks at me before pulling the back of his shirt up and over his head, and throwing it by the chair where my jacket is. 

He falls back on the bed and my hands are now roaming his chest. For someone who previously was very nervous, I don't really seem to be anymore. 

I lowered myself down and planted kisses along the center of his chest. I start from the top of his waist and lick all the way up to his neck. He lifted his neck up so his chin was pointing straight out. I look up and kissed the tip of it. 

"I kind of have an oral fixation," I whisper softly. He smirks at me. 

I go back to his chest and start leaving a trail of small bites down to the top of his jeans. If he wasn't hard when we came into the bedroom, he was now. I didn't even have to touch him to see it. But I decided to anyway. 

I pressed the palm of my hand against the front of his pants. I could feel the bulge through his jeans and it made my chest warm. I struggled to unbutton his jeans, so he helped me out and went ahead and unzipped them too. I pulled them down, revealing his plain gray boxer briefs that perfectly hid and outlined what I desperately wanted to see. 

He kicked his jeans off the rest of the way onto the floor. He seems very excited for what he thinks is going to come, but it isn't going to be him. Not yet anyway. 

I get up and hover over him, clothes still on. He gives me a look, like he's going to kill me. I give him a shy innocent little smile back, before I start grinding against his boxers. He closes his eyes and bites his lip a little bit, before looking back at me with clearly mixed feelings. 

"I'm not gonna just let you get off that easily," I tell him with a grin. He just shakes his head and hides his face in his palms. 

I get up and shake my pants off. I just have boxers on so it's not like he can get a look at anything, but it was getting difficult to move around in those tight jeans. I climb back on the bed on top of him and this time I'm able to really feel how hard he is. His cock is pressed through two layers of cotton against me and its turning me on a lot more than I thought it would. Grinding against him is about to get a lot more satisfying now with less layers. 

I move my hips in circular motions against him, and the most sensitive part of me is rubbing straight against the ridges in his. I really don't know if I'm courageous or comfortable enough to let him actually put anything inside of me yet but even dry humping is enough to really get me going. I think he likes it too, because his hands gravitate toward my sides and he's pulling me closer. 

I feel like I'm about to bubble over, but I really don't want this to end. We haven't even done that much, I can't let it just end at this. I gently run the barely existent tips of my nails down the front of his chest, and he elicits a soft hum of pleasure. I press the tips of my fingers closer to his neck and scratch a little harder this time, clawing down the center of his chest and letting up to trail down toward the edge of his boxers. I scoot back on his lap and toy with the seam now. 

I rearrange myself, so I'm sitting on my knees in between his open legs. He takes this opportunity to actually beckon me to grab a condom from the top drawer of his dresser. I grab the first one I see and come back to sit where I was before.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," he says. I'm glad that he's not forceful about this at all. It's definitely making it easier to have fun. I lean down and press my open mouth against the clothing that's currently cock blocking me. I don't think he was expecting it, because he lets out a louder moan that I've heard come out of his mouth before. I hope this can answer his question though. 

"Shit," he breathes out.

I look up at him and meet his eye contact. He chews on his lip and his eyes are dripping with lust now. 

I caress the outline in his boxers and he finally gets aggravated and tried to pull them down. I help him, pulling them down to his knees. His cock hits his stomach and he shakes his boxer briefs off the rest of the way off his legs. He widens his legs a bit, giving me room to bend down closer to him. 

I hand him the condom and while he's putting that on, I start with small bites in his inner thighs. He laughs and moves away from my touch. He gets it on, and I take over. I place my hand around his base and he lets out a heavy sigh. 

"I can't to see how good your mouth is," he says.

I open my mouth and trail my tongue lightly against the underside of his cock, from the top of my hand to his slit. I look up to see that he's covered his face with his arm. I move my mouth back down and followed where I licked the first time. When I get to his tip again, I slide his head into my mouth and suck gently, still holding the base. 

His breathing gets heavier now. He hasn't moved his arm at all, but the way he's biting his lip makes him look like he's trying to hold back making any sound. I suck a bit harder and a soft groan leaks out of his mouth. I lift my mouth off of him to lick my palm and I place it back where it was.

The saliva makes it easier to move my hand up and down his cock, so I tighten my grip and start rubbing his length. I place my mouth back on his tip and press the full width of my tongue against his slit. I wrap my lips around his head and suck. My other hand starts to trail the tops of his thighs, and I scratch my nails against his skin harder than before. 

"Oh god, Ryan," he purrs in a velvet voice. 

He takes his hands, previously covering his face, and places them on the top of my head. He isn't forceful when he does this. I take this as a hint to focus more on the mouth. So I do. I take more of him in my mouth, and suck harder. The grip of my hand gets even tighter and I start moving it faster. His hand guides me and he pushes down gently but faster. 

I'm surprised at how much I can take into my mouth because within minutes I have the majority of his cock pressed against my tongue and the back of my throat. I can't keep him there long, but it's just long enough that he's able to come. His muscles tighten and he lightly tugs my hair that he has between his fingers. He lets out a wave of soft groans that let me know he's finished. 

I lift up and meet his eyes. 

"I guess you were right about having an oral fixation," he said in a breathy voice. I laugh. "Now, does this mean I can show you if I have one too?" He asked. 

I look toward the floor. I was scared he'd ask this. I just don't know how comfortable I'd be with it. 

"God know's I'd love if you did, but I really just don't know if I'm ready for that," I answer. "But, maybe you can help me out with your hands instead." 

He gives me a half smile before leaning in and kissing me. 

"I'm completely okay with that." 

I lay back on the bed and he leans overtop of me. I open my legs so he's in between them, and I can feel him press against me again. God. 

He doesn't try to take my shirt off at all, or even my boxers. He lifts my shirt up to expose my stomach and he kisses all over it. He comes back up and kisses my neck and bites the skin. I bet it's gonna be dark. My skin always bruises so badly. But I can't wait to wear it proudly. 

His hands wander down to the seam of my boxers. He looks down at them and then back up at me. 

"Are you sure it's okay if we do this?" he asks. 

"Absolutely," I reassure him. 

He slides his hand down the front of them and his hands are warm against me. The sensation is sudden, as if I wasn't expecting it even though I was. I bite my lip, and look at him, and realize he's still looking at me. I move forward and bite his bottom lip, and take a handful of his hair in my hands. 

He rubs his fingertips in circles and then moves down and slips a finger into me. I'm already so wet that it slides in without a problem. 

"It's okay to add more," I breathe out. 

He adds another finger in and his thumb is touching my clit. With two fingers he slides in and out I can hear it. I don't think I've ever been this wet before. 

"God, please," I moan. 

His pace quickens and the tip of his thumb rubs faster too. I reach up and press my hands against his headboard. I don't know how much longer I can take this.   
 He slides in a third finger. He's filling me up so quickly, and it feels so good. I want him all the way inside me, I can't take it. 

"Brendon, fuck me, please," I plead. He moves his head down toward my neck and bites harder. This only adds fuel to the fire. I let a moan escape my lips and I'm going to come. With his free hand, he scrapes his nails across the exposed skin on my back and his hand quickens.

"Oh Brendon, I'm gonna come," I moan. My grip on the headboard tightens and my back arches upward. I can't control the sound that leaves my mouth, but I know it's loud. I buck my hips upward toward his hand and ride it out. 

I feel his fingers move out of me, and I look back at him. 

"Was I too loud?" I ask, embarrassed. 

"Not at all," he answers with a chuckle, before moving in towards my lips and planting a soft kiss on them. 

We both sit up, and Brendon goes to grab his boxer briefs. He puts them back on and then comes back to sit on the bed. 

"Well this wasn't exactly what I had planned but it definitely turned out better than what I thought. So thank you for a good time," he says. "Wanna go finish those beers we opened?"

"You know, I completely forgot about them. But that sounds great." 

We both get up and walk toward the living room. He grabs two new beers and puts them on the coffee table for when we finish the first ones. He lays down on the couch, sprawled out, and pats the space in front of him. 

I lay down with my head against his stomach and he flips through channels until we find a shitty rom-com. I sip the room-temperature beer and it's even better than it was when it was cold. I could get used to this.


End file.
